He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I am available for nakedness
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
