I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
