She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
