I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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