It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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