She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
