Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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