i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Someone shit on the floor
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have fence marks all over my body
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
