my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
