THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
