I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
