What did we do last night that was yellow?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
