Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
