he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
my poor anus
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize