No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
