is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
