you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
