just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
