There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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