Already got asked if we're dating
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
