i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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