Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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