I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize