somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You need a sexual gate keeper
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
me + whiskey = a bad person
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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