Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
