So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
