i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
