My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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