apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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