My first STD was from a foam party
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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