brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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