yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
