I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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