I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
