Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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