Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
