we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
