i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize