am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
