When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
