What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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