You can't special order awesome
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
