I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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