so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
