Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize