i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
