but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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