and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize