Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
