Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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