drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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