About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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