After last night, I could never be a politician.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
