my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
