it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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