So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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