so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My balls are so social today.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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