you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
