ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can't turn off my feet"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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