We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize